Bostons 9, Twin Cities 5

Written by: Jere Smith on 17th March 2009

Bostons 9, Twin Cities 5 | read this item

Ft. Myers, FL–A crowd of eight thousand northeastern nomads and year-round suntanners jammed up City of Palms Park to-day to witness the third contest of the Mayor’s Cup championship, between the Bostons and the Twin Cities. None other than the Texan tempest, Beckett, took the ‘hide for the Tea-Toss Towners. And the home stickmen launched a fleet of four space shuttles that left the Minnesotans green with envy on this St. Patty’s Day.

The Sox were red, but the hats were the color of the grass underneath. Specialized blouses with green lettering and numerals were sewn up for the celebration of old Eire, many of whose past citizens have settled in the summer home of the Red Sox. The Heartlanders, who pitch their March camp across this same town, did not follow suit, donning their traditional blues. Perhaps a Nordic day is more suited to their followers’ tastes.

The Receiver-in-Chief, Varitek, started the rock brigade with a high one down the line. He himself seemed puzzled upon contact, perhaps thinking it a long foul. But it was indeed a goner, and the Bostons had blown the bagpipes first. A never-ending second frame for Mr. Beckett left him with quite the undesirable figure-tally, but those who were not in the house to bear witness should note: A three-wheeled boxcar runs the same track as a speeding locomotive. Tapper followed squibber followed bloop, and soon the Twins had tallied three, without a true slap of the sphere.

Beckett hopped on the horse with nary a peer-back from that point on, his mates undoing the damage with their sticks. Minny’s Baker served up a pastry, which The Big Papi promptly swallowed whole, scoring himself and another on one swing. Then substitute Guerrier had his stone turned to four-baguette by young Ellsbury, who has often shown muscle as well as motor.

But the Irish creme de la creme came from out-field roamer Bay, who hit a deep one to unchartered territory. Beckett claims he has only seen this feat a lone time in his travels–a thrown ball leaping off lumber and traversing the “batter’s eye” in center-field, one which stands no less than eighty hands high at this ball-yard.

The Bostons had enough on the scoreboard so that any attempt of waking by the Twin lashers became nothing but fantasy. Hurlers Papelbon, Saito, Okajima, and Tazawa held off the cross-town rivals for the remaining five frames on this overcast afternoon, and when the children lay down to rest this eve, they shall mark the verdict as “Bostons 9, Twin Cities 5″ in their leisure ledgers.

All but the visiting campers were in the Irish spirit on this day, as the would-be Green Sox fielded a team with Bailey, Carter, Green, and even Rock O’Baldelli. Yap-masters Orsillo and the “Rem-Dawg” even poked fun at an unfortunately small fellow dressed in leprechaun garb, who joined them in their box. With a rest day to-morrow, the boys can celebrate with whiskey and corned beef to-night, but then it’s back to the grind, as they meet the Redlegs in Sarasota on Thursday. The Boston club now leads in the race for the Mayor’s Cup, two games to one.

Share on Tumblr

Topics: boston red sox st. patrick's day game twins ortiz beckett ellsbury bay

Josh Wilker says:

March 17, 2009 at 7:56 pm

I love it. This recap makes me want to party like it’s nineteen ought nine.
Jere Smith says:

March 18, 2009 at 9:36 am

Thanks–any time I look at old baseball articles, it baffles me why the current writers don’t take the time to describe what’s going on in any kind of creative way.